Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Me (27F)and my partner (27M) have been together for almost 6 months and throughout the course of our relationship I’ve really been struggling with trusting him fully.
We had been mutual friends for years before our relationship progressed into something more romantic. We hooked up for the first time during a vacation where me and a group of friends were visiting him. We started talking everyday after that. He came to visit me a week before I moved across the country and kept the trip secret from all his friends and family (he was originally from the city I was living in at the time). During the trip we talked a lot about our past experiences, relationships, family life, etc. when he left he was going on an additional vacation with a group of people I didn’t know. I dropped him off at the airport at 4am and didn’t really hear much from him until the next day. I felt kind of shitty like I had been taken advantage of but couldn’t really figure out why.
The next day he texted me and was putting all my anxieties at ease. Telling me he only wanted to me with me and that I should have nothing to worry about, etc. etc. he then decided he was going to move to the city I was moving to (about 10 hours away by car from where he was living at the time) so that we could give the relationship a shot. After he moved here he asked me to be his girlfriend and told me he was falling in love with me. A couple days after that conversation he told me he had sex with someone the day I dropped him off at the airport 6 weeks prior. He said he was really sorry and felt he had to come clean about the situation. Keep in mind we had been texting, calling, FaceTiming, etc. nonstop before we were actually back in the same city so I was pretty taken aback by the news since things had gotten relatively serious even though it was long distance.
After a couple days of feeling sorry for myself and confiding in a few close friends about the situation I decided I would try and move past it, but I’m definitely still struggling.
When I first met his current female coworkers he didn’t introduce me as his girlfriend or even acknowledge my presence. He likes a lot of other girls’ thirst traps on Instagram, is reluctant to sharing any photos of me online or anything hinting to him being in a relationship. Has told a lot of people he moved here for work, which contrasts with him telling me he moved here for me. When we go out in group settings I always find him chatting up other females. There’s even been a time where I caught him chatting with a girl he’s had a “one night stand” with a couple years ago. Anytime I try and bring these situations up and express my general discomfort he brushes it off and chalks it up to me being negative.
Am I being crazy? Should I be looking past these situations or are they red flags? He wants to live with me next year but I’m absolutely terrified of taking this next step with him. Please let me know what you think or if you’ve had a similar experience!
TLDR; my current (27M) partner slept with someone else in the same day as me (27F) early on in our romance and kept in a secret until after we started dating, and I’m struggling to move past it and some other red flags that have occurred.
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