Obstetrics - Vaginusmus and no access to an OBGYN (21F):Health care

What is "Obstetrics " ?

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Obstetrics is the field of study concentrated on pregnancy, childbirth and the postpartum period. As a medical specialty, obstetrics is combined with gynecology under the discipline known as obstetrics and gynecology (OB/GYN), which is a surgical field.

My experience over Obstetrics "Vaginusmus and no access to an OBGYN (21F)"

I've never really tried to put anything into my vaginal canal, and I'd never even used a tampon my entire life. As far as I know, at the moment, I have no symptoms of a yeast infection. But a couple of months ago (8 to be exact), I tried to put in a finger, only to be met with a wall-like structure which I couldn't get through. 6 months ago, my fwb put in a finger, and it literally stung and burnt like the 7th circle of hell, and I just never really tried to put anything else in, because I always just hit a dead-end (literally). A month ago, I was able to put in my finger an inch in, and it just felt odd, and then when I tried to push more, it hurt and stung. Last week, my fwb tried penetration, which did not work at all, like he couldn't get in the tiniest bit.

I have no idea what I could be, as I can't go to a gynec as I live in a conservative society, where my mother is well-known among gynec circles, as she is one herself. There was no overt slut-shaming that I had gone through, but I've pretty much only had any sort of physical interaction with 2 guys my entire life, one being the fwb situation previously mentioned. The first guy was a guy I dated who ended up doing some things against my will to win a bet, but as far as I consciously know, I have dealt with this and gotten over it. However, I do have INSANE control issues, and I've grown up in a family that would kick me out of the house, if they so much as found out that I had ever kissed a guy, much like most of the society I live amongst, which may have given me internalised shame. I also have this need to be put-together most of the time, but I feel like I've overcome this with my FWB.

My fwb and I, we kind of have feelings for each other, and he's also someone who I feel EXTREMELY comfortable with. And he's THE MOST considerate, thoughtful guy I've ever met, and I REALLYYYY wanted to be able to enjoy the moment, but it seemed impossible. I also have never managed to orgasm from him, even though I do enjoy his touch quite a lot, and he does all the right things. He's quite experienced, which leaves the aspect of not knowing how to put it in out of the question. Whenever I touch myself, I get off, through clitoral stimulation, even going to the extent of multiple orgasms, so I can't really pinpoint what the issue is, and it's really weighing on me, because this is the first guy I've ever caught feelings for, ever let into my life, and this is something I've looked forward to sharing with him, and of course, it would just be nice to be able to use a tampon once in a while.

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♥ " Thinking of you lots and hoping for your speedy recovery. "