Obstetrics - I had a hymenectomy and I cannot stand having a period now

What is "Obstetrics " ?

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Obstetrics is the field of study concentrated on pregnancy, childbirth and the postpartum period. As a medical specialty, obstetrics is combined with gynecology under the discipline known as obstetrics and gynecology (OB/GYN), which is a surgical field.

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My experience over Obstetrics "I had a hymenectomy and I cannot stand having a period now"

So idk if this is even the right place to post something like this, please suggest other subs that may be moreso what I'm looking for.

I (18F) was born with an imperforate hymen (my hymen completely covered my vaginal opening). I finally realized something wasn't right when I was 14, "hadn't had a period yet" despite going through most of puberty already, and couldn't find an opening while experimenting with masturbation. I began seeing an OBGYN and we discussed surgery, but before we ever scheduled surgery, I had to be taken to the emergency room. When I had no opening in my hymen, I was still getting my period for an approximate of two years. All the menstrual blood built up in my uterus and vaginal canal, causing inflammation and difficulties with my bladder, kidneys, and intestines. The pain had gotten so bad so quickly that I could barely walk. Doctors said I likely experienced pain worse than most women in labour. I was in the hospital for two days, and on the second day, a small opening in my hymen broke open and all the old blood could be drained. I had a proper surgery to fully remove my hymen three months later. In between the emergency room visit and the surgery, I was put on the Depo shot to prevent my period from occuring as often, as I was still healing and still didn't have a very large opening. After surgery, I remained on the shot for several more months as I healed. My first "real" periods I had to deal with were unbearable. The pain was so bad and the amount of blood exiting my body was so much that I had to stay home from school often, or else I'd be having to go change my pad every half hour at school. I stopped taking the shot, but my periods were still very irregular (which I know is normal for teens, but it was definitely more irregular than the usual person). I don't know if it's because I didn't "start" having a period until I was nearly 15, or if my periods after surgery were so painful and irregular, or a mixture of both, but between stopping the Depo shot and beginning birth control pills (Yaz) when I was just barely 17, my menstrual cycle made me extremely angry and upset. And I'm not talking about me pmsing... no, like I was angry AT my body for having a cycle. I fantasized about just ripping out my uterus, or having surgery to remove it simply so I wouldn't feel so upset about something so normal. After starting the pill, my cycle became much more regulated and lighter. My cramps and pain became practically nonexistent, and my cycle would be very short and easy to manage. Despite things changing, I feel even more dysmorphic over my reproductive organs. I'm fine with having all the exterior parts of a woman; I can't really see myself having anything else than a labia. What I hate are my internal parts. Every month, right before I start my cycle, I get extremely uncomfortable with just the idea of having a uterus and ovaries and all that. I've had so much trouble in the past with all that, that even though I'm managing my cycle fine now, I just don't want to deal with any of that at all. I've always wanted to have my own children, but at this point, I don't even care about that now. If not ever dealing with periods again, and the pain and trauma I have to remember regarding it, I'll take not having kids. I know I'm young, but I just want this pain to end. I don't want to be upset over the fact I'm experiencing a normal part of a woman's life. I don't like being reminded of my medical issues and my trauma surrounding that. I don't want to deal with it anymore. I really don't know what to do. I can't exactly just get rid of all my internal reproductive organs, but they bother me so much. I don't want to deal with it. It makes me depressed and anxious to have to deal with my period. I looked into PMDD but I'm not sure if that's what I'm dealing with.

Any suggestions to help manage my feelings surrounding my cycle and my body would be helpful, or redirection to any resources.

submitted by /u/twin_sized_mattress
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" Thinking of you lots and hoping for your speedy recovery. "