I recently traveled to meet someone thousands of miles away, spent thousands of dollars after speaking for 6 months only to be lied to, betrayed and rejected. Got a hollow apology which wasn't all that genuine and having to pick up the pieces of my heart. While I emotionally bonded to this person during the months I spent talking to them, they felt nothing back and it was evaporated all because they didn't like my personality while knowing fuck all about me never even asking me questions about me, and didn't like the way I had sex with them.
It kills because they put their ex on a pedestal who loved someone else the whole time while with them who they still have a yearning for while I just became a notch on their body count number that will eventually evaporate into dust in their mind. Even if it wasn't a relationship, it still hurts like hell... Worst is I am still craving and addicted to this person, keep fantasizing wanting them back despite the shit treatment in a foreign country having noone else I know. Fucking sucks man... This was after I was destroyed by a malignant narcissist 4 years ago, and finally when I thought I could open up again this happens to me. I pretty much give up on love life for awhile, casual or nothing is all I can do. It is extremely rare for me to find anyone attractive so it takes years of my life away just to recover from one person. Makes me want to die.
TLDR: used , abused and discarded by someone I met online and bonded with for 6-8 months in an instant. almost relationships makes your mind be in a constant state of what ifs.
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